Updating a buffered datagrid in 4.2

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I have a need to update a datagrid that is buffered. I have a websocket that listens for data and I keep my grids in sync. To achieve this in 4.1.1 I ended up just clearing the page map whenever I updated a cell and forcing it to reload so that it wouldnt overwrite the updated records.

I could go that route again for 4.2 but I am curious of 2 things.

1) Is updating buffered grids supported now? I know before it was said you shouldnt do this.

2) When I insert a record and im using remote sort is there an easier way to make sure it goes to the right spot? Its really a major pain to figure out where it goes due to sort and filter and whats currently being rendered.

I appreciate any help on this. thanks

Edit: Just wanted to add that I have tried the buffered renderer which works great. The only issue is some of our data exceeds 50k records. It's performance leaves something to be desired when we do that, so its not really an option currently.